Today is not my birthday. In fact, I still have a couple of
months until I blow out another candle. However, I have recently been made very
aware of my almost 36 years on this earth and all that goes along with a life
that short…or…long…depending on how you look at it. And so, today I want to
share one of those “What I’ve Learned” lists with you.
· I’ve learned that no matter what or when or where…God is good. He will never let go and neither should I. Many of you know how the pages of my life’s story read. They do not turn smoothly and gracefully like a Sparks novel. They do not flow with the ease of Waller’s Bridges. And yet, through it all, my God has never let me fall. He has held me in the palm of his hand always. He has proven himself over and over again. Even in those times when I was certain (in my mind) that I was going to fall on my face, in my heart I think I knew that He was in control. His grace is undeniable.
· I’ve learned that there is nothing on this earth more powerful than friendship. That as long as I have one friend who truly loves me for me, I can get through even the darkest and scariest storms. I have been blessed in this life to have honest-to-goodness friends…not just people who say they are there for me, but incredible individuals who show me every day that they would lay down their lives for me. I am undeserving and unbelievably thankful.
· I’ve learned that choices—all choices—are actually just deciding who we are willing to hurt. Even in a toss-up as seemingly benign as what to have for lunch, we are making that decision. If I pick Domino’s over Taco Bell, I have decided to hurt Taco Bell’s business. Because of this knowledge, I’m trying to never make quick decisions…to think them all through…to weigh every aspect. And while it is often excruciating, I believe with all my heart that it is worth the extra effort.
· I’ve learned that regrets are pointless. Think about it: Can we change anything at all that has already happened? Can we un-ring any of the bells we’ve rung? Can we un-speak any of the words we’ve spoken? Can we take back the steps we’ve walked? Of course not. And every single one of those bells and words and steps have put us exactly where we are right now. Those of you who know me well, know about my previous marriage. It was horrible; and at the time it ended (well, actually at the time it began, too), I deeply regretted having walked all the way down that aisle. However, as I stepped further away from that pain, I began to realize that because I walked down that aisle and spent three years in turmoil, I grew in strength and confidence. I found out that I could stand up for me…and that I was worth standing up for. And I will NEVER regret finding out for myself that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
· I’ve learned that perception is reality. For every person, the way we see things is the way we will believe them to be. A year ago I was extremely overweight. In my mind’s eye, every pound over my “ideal weight” was just another stroke painted with the ugly brush. I saw the rolls of fat and the double chins. I saw the elastic waistbands and double-X on the tag. And every time I saw those, I saw a person who was not good enough…not pretty enough…just not enough. And that was my reality. It didn’t matter what anyone else told me. I could not see that the person I truly was, was still there…just buried under layers of “insulation”. My perception has changed of late.
· I’ve learned that your gut is one of the most precise and accurate indicators of what should be done. Believe it. Trust it. Go with it. I can’t recall an occasion when following my intuition steered me wrong. However, so many times when I have second-guessed myself, that is when the world tends to tilt.
· I’ve learned that waiting can be one of the greatest or one of the most detrimental things you can do. Waiting—or not—has changed my life. It can change yours.
· I’ve learned that loving as much as you are loved is one of the most wondrous experiences you can have and that without both, there will always be an emptiness. Being in love with the idea of something or someone is NOT the same as being in love. And being in love is so much more than giddy romance and physical attraction. Fireworks are beautiful with their light and color. Yet warmth is just as beautiful—if not more so—because it heals.
· I’ve learned that lives are intertwined in intricate and elaborate and beautiful ways. That spirits and souls and hearts are what make us family so much more than blood. I’m finding that my very existence is dependent on the bonds forged through mutual experiences…even when those experiences have been shared separately.
And so, I’ve scratched the surface of my life lessons. There are so many more I could share and so many more I have yet to learn. It’s taken me almost a week to write this post, and in that time each of these bits of knowledge have presented themselves to me again and again. It has been stated that “we hold these truth to be self-evident…” and the same goes for what I’ve learned. I am awed by the revelation of verity I experience every single day, and I pray that I never take it for granted.
· I’ve learned that no matter what or when or where…God is good. He will never let go and neither should I. Many of you know how the pages of my life’s story read. They do not turn smoothly and gracefully like a Sparks novel. They do not flow with the ease of Waller’s Bridges. And yet, through it all, my God has never let me fall. He has held me in the palm of his hand always. He has proven himself over and over again. Even in those times when I was certain (in my mind) that I was going to fall on my face, in my heart I think I knew that He was in control. His grace is undeniable.
· I’ve learned that there is nothing on this earth more powerful than friendship. That as long as I have one friend who truly loves me for me, I can get through even the darkest and scariest storms. I have been blessed in this life to have honest-to-goodness friends…not just people who say they are there for me, but incredible individuals who show me every day that they would lay down their lives for me. I am undeserving and unbelievably thankful.
· I’ve learned that choices—all choices—are actually just deciding who we are willing to hurt. Even in a toss-up as seemingly benign as what to have for lunch, we are making that decision. If I pick Domino’s over Taco Bell, I have decided to hurt Taco Bell’s business. Because of this knowledge, I’m trying to never make quick decisions…to think them all through…to weigh every aspect. And while it is often excruciating, I believe with all my heart that it is worth the extra effort.
· I’ve learned that regrets are pointless. Think about it: Can we change anything at all that has already happened? Can we un-ring any of the bells we’ve rung? Can we un-speak any of the words we’ve spoken? Can we take back the steps we’ve walked? Of course not. And every single one of those bells and words and steps have put us exactly where we are right now. Those of you who know me well, know about my previous marriage. It was horrible; and at the time it ended (well, actually at the time it began, too), I deeply regretted having walked all the way down that aisle. However, as I stepped further away from that pain, I began to realize that because I walked down that aisle and spent three years in turmoil, I grew in strength and confidence. I found out that I could stand up for me…and that I was worth standing up for. And I will NEVER regret finding out for myself that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
· I’ve learned that perception is reality. For every person, the way we see things is the way we will believe them to be. A year ago I was extremely overweight. In my mind’s eye, every pound over my “ideal weight” was just another stroke painted with the ugly brush. I saw the rolls of fat and the double chins. I saw the elastic waistbands and double-X on the tag. And every time I saw those, I saw a person who was not good enough…not pretty enough…just not enough. And that was my reality. It didn’t matter what anyone else told me. I could not see that the person I truly was, was still there…just buried under layers of “insulation”. My perception has changed of late.
· I’ve learned that your gut is one of the most precise and accurate indicators of what should be done. Believe it. Trust it. Go with it. I can’t recall an occasion when following my intuition steered me wrong. However, so many times when I have second-guessed myself, that is when the world tends to tilt.
· I’ve learned that waiting can be one of the greatest or one of the most detrimental things you can do. Waiting—or not—has changed my life. It can change yours.
· I’ve learned that loving as much as you are loved is one of the most wondrous experiences you can have and that without both, there will always be an emptiness. Being in love with the idea of something or someone is NOT the same as being in love. And being in love is so much more than giddy romance and physical attraction. Fireworks are beautiful with their light and color. Yet warmth is just as beautiful—if not more so—because it heals.
· I’ve learned that lives are intertwined in intricate and elaborate and beautiful ways. That spirits and souls and hearts are what make us family so much more than blood. I’m finding that my very existence is dependent on the bonds forged through mutual experiences…even when those experiences have been shared separately.
And so, I’ve scratched the surface of my life lessons. There are so many more I could share and so many more I have yet to learn. It’s taken me almost a week to write this post, and in that time each of these bits of knowledge have presented themselves to me again and again. It has been stated that “we hold these truth to be self-evident…” and the same goes for what I’ve learned. I am awed by the revelation of verity I experience every single day, and I pray that I never take it for granted.
